Gadolor

During the Night

It was already dark when I walked out of class. The wind was the kind that finds every thin place in your coat and bores through with numbing fingers. So, I imagined, would feel the hands of death. You’d be lying there without a heartbeat, and cold hands would lift you away from your body.

Reaching my tired 98’ Camry, I brushed off a dusting of snow with my sleeve and sat behind the wheel. The old girl’s golden paint was rusted and covered with black street salt, but she comforted me every time I heard the engine growl.

Of course, the car couldn’t always start right away, especially in the cold. Poor Camry, neither did I like it. I twisted the key for five minutes before a classmate walked past and I asked him for a jump.

A text came from James: “Hey man, can I come over?”

“Sure I’m just on my way home,” I replied. James is a good friend, one of those people who won’t leave you alone, but you’re glad for it.

“I’m home,” I called as our door shut out the night. Mom’s tired face greeted me from the kitchen and Molly’s little voice followed.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Oatmeal.” Molly made a face but said nothing. We all knew better than to complain, for this was better fare than we’d had at other times.

A knock on the door signaled James’ arrival. Mom scolded me briefly for not telling her he was coming, but she smiled nonetheless. We all like James.

His thin face was grinning. At first it looked like he was wearing a dress because of the many plastic bags hanging from his hands. “Come in! What’s all this?”

“I thought you guys could use some food,” he said in his soft way.

“Oh,” Mom breathed, “But, James, we can’t accept this.”

“Why not?”

“Woah, Lucky Charms!” Molly cheered, looking in a bag. I couldn’t help looking in the others. Before long we were all eating Lucky Charms beside a pantry that was no longer empty.

I woke to a melancholy Christmas song. 12:15 A.M. and I was expected at work in forty-five minutes. How could I leave the warmth of bed? The wind was out there waiting for me, howling around the apartment’s corners, throwing dry snow against my window screen. The blizzard animal was whipping itself into a frenzy against me.

The Camry and I underwent a treacherous journey across snow-driven roads. The bald tires slipped occasionally on patches of packed snow; more crystal flakes were swirling all around. Wind whipped tendrils of snow sideways across the road. Their swirling fingers resembled tongues of spectral flame that reached across the pavement. Hypnotized, once or twice I thought I was sliding off the road.

Gluten free ice cream cones. Mango flavored orange juice. As I stocked the grocery store’s shelves that night, I thought of my old car being buried by the storm. How could we bear to continue in this cruel, cold world? Why not let death’s hands take me away? It would be easy, I knew. It would be easy to drive away and never come home. But how sad would James be? What of Mom and Molly?

A breath of warmth was in the air as I drove home, dawn’s light all around me. Like a coal fresh from some celestial furnace, the sun stretched its blinding self over the horizon, bathing the snow in brilliance. All the billion flakes that made up the world’s white blanket became a dazzling array of diamonds. I fumbled for my sunglasses.