Gadolor

Sebastian

Despite all the dancing she’d been doing lately, Entressa’s normal life was rather dull. She hadn’t realized how dull until she met Sebastian, danced with him, and heard him talk. Hours of study in a dusty library preceded polite conversations on boring topics. Supper with her father involved a rigid wooden chair and talk that never seemed to change. Wherever she was, Entressa’s mind wandered outside, into the open streets where a juggler hummed a cheerful tune, waiting for her return. She thought of the rolling hills and quaint villages of his stories, where his many adventures took place.

Sebastian said they were madly in love with one another. “It’s the happiest thing in the world,” he would say, “I love you, you love me, and it’s the only thing that matters. Ask your heart and you’ll know—you do love me, don’t you?”

She said the princess should never love a commoner, but he insisted. He told stories of daring where people left their old lives to find dazzling new adventures. “And we can be like one of them,” he said, “Be strong and courageous. Tell me, princess, when did you last let your heart decide?

“And didn’t one of your ancestors marry a commoner?” he said romantically, “Susan the Lovely, she was called. The tales say she made the finest flowers look like rubbish. The king took her into his house, and they lived happily ever after.” Entressa felt this was somehow different, though the story was nice. “And what about your warriors? I know there are courageous people in your family tree.”

“King Restlan, the Lion,” Entressa smiled, “He founded Esthena. He had red hair. Nobody could beat him in battle, and he led the people here from a different land.”

“Exactly! Your ancestors had the courage to do what they needed for themselves. Do you have any of that left?”

“I’m betrothed to Andel,” she said, “It’s my duty to marry him.”

Sebastian shook his head. “Your duty is to yourself. Your duty is to love.”

However much Sebastian talked, Entressa felt sure the affair couldn’t last. Still, she let herself sit with him, imagining that it could. “Suppose you were me,” Sebastian queried, “What would you do? Where would you go?”

“I don’t know. What are your favorite things to do?”

Sebastian tilted his head back, dreaming. “I love a good show in a busy street. I like coming to a new town and telling everyone I’m some kind of hero. Nobody believes it, but it’s a fun game.”

“And have you tried to be a tax collector, so you can get money directly?”

He made a face. “People don’t believe that, either. As soon as you try to swindle their money, they get rather violent.”

She giggled. “Sebastian, I don’t think you’ve ever stolen from anybody.” He didn’t argue.

“But if I were you and you were me,” he said, “I would go to the waterfall caverns at Torris. Think of sky-colored water cascading into the ground. When you climb down there, there’s a whole room and a pool to dive into.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yes. And the river goes underground for a mile, and along the way there are caves to explore. The magicians hold meetings down there at the dead of night. They can teach you wonderful things if you’re brave enough.”

His face had turned mysterious. “And were you brave enough?” she asked.

“Of course,” he grinned, “How else would I know about it?” Then he frowned again. “You might not like living like me.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a hard life, living by your wits, without a lot of servants to dote on you.”

She glared at him playfully. “Sebastian. Don’t tease me. You’re the one who says I don’t need all those people.” He laughed and agreed.

He even took her outside the castle sometimes. They would sit and watch the world go by as it did when the princess wasn’t present. Sebastian would show her how full of life the people were. “Ah, the streets and taverns and farms,” he would say dreamily, “That’s where the real life is. Those men who shut themselves up in stone houses know nothing of it. Give me the wild open air!”

She noticed the servants in the castle beginning to look at her differently. Sometimes they would stop whispering when she walked into sight. Finally, her father called her one day, and his brow was bunched up like a big, dark cloud. “My dear, I’m distressed by a rumor I’ve heard,” he said, “And it’s from a man I trust. He says people have seen you outside with a stranger. They say that you—that he, at least—acts as if you loved him.”

Horror bloomed in her heart like a black hole. He knows. People have seen us together? “Oh,” she stammered, “Is that what they say?”

“Your tutor tells me you’re slack in your studies, and I see you less around the house. Please tell me, dear, what is this? Please tell me your heart hasn’t been turned.”

She dropped her gaze to the woven carpet. “Oh. . .Father, I didn’t know. That is, I’ve been anxious with everything going on, but I don’t know a. . .a stranger.”

She glanced up. His stern gaze relented. “I see. This is a nervous time for you, my dear, with the betrothal at hand. I’m afraid I haven’t helped you very much. But you really needn’t fear; Andel is a good man who will treat you well. You’re a fine young lady. Forgive me for thinking less of you.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

Her heart pounded as she left her father’s presence. Never in her life—not when she’d broken an expensive vase, nor when she’d gotten sick eating sweets, nor when she’d accidentally locked someone out in the cold—never had she lied to her father. But now she’d looked in his eyes and hid the truth, and his simple faith in her had sold the lie. She ran down the hallway. The truth is, I love him, Entressa said to herself. Every day she fell more deeply under his spell. Some deep hunger had awoken in her heart, raging like a fierce animal.

“It’s freedom,” Sebastian told her, “You’ve never had it and now you want it, now that you know me. I wish you could be free like me.”

“So do I,” she groaned. And so, they fell into their favorite pastime: talking about Sebastian’s life and imagining she could live it. They talked about juggling things and campfires and meeting all kinds of people, anything to help them forget the betrothal that bore relentlessly down on them. He said common women didn’t have to marry princes and could choose whomever they wished.

At last, they sat together on the ground in the alley, she leaning on his wiry chest, he with his arms around her. He stroked her brown hair wistfully. They had exchanged “I love you”s several times and now sat with nothing more to say. Entressa glanced up into his dark eyes, where something especially mysterious caught her gaze. Sebastian’s face shone with affection, so much it almost made her breathless. Then he kissed her lips.

Entressa thought she could feel Sebastian’s entire thriving soul through that kiss. He was full of joy, simply full of it. She thought there wouldn’t be room for anything else inside him. After a long moment of moist warmth and breathing through the nose, they parted and stared at one another, almost shuddering at the power of it. The entire world faded away, leaving only him to gaze into her eyes and her to gaze into his. She laid her head on his shoulder, feeling so peaceful that she almost fell asleep.